Tony Clifton, Live & In Person!

A few years back (OK, a few more than a few), my brother Eric and I pitched a script idea to some major Hollywood studios. DreamWorks felt warm and cozy; I wanted to live there. Disney, as I recall, seemed a bit like a private museum. And Nickelodeon's digs at the time reminded me of a mid-sized radio station – an unpretentious place decorated in a style that could be described as "Freebie Chic."

At one point, while we were grabbing something to eat in Paramount's commissary, Tony Clifton barreled through, closely trailed by several camera and sound people. He was appropriately loud and loutish, commanding the room's attention for the few brief seconds before he charged out the door.

Eric had mentioned that Jim Carrey was filming the Andy Kaufman bio "Man on the Moon" at the time. Would this impromptu performance wind up in the finished film? Was that Carrey beneath the hair and makeup? Or was it Kaufman himself, showing up after 15 years to thumb his nose at the gullible fools who actually believed the reports of his death?

Despite the clamor associated with Clifton's brief cameo appearance, it couldn't compare to the buzz that we noticed while lunching on the Sony lot the next day.
The joint was fancy and, I assumed, overflowing with studio bigwigs. At tables all around us, heads turned and necks craned to see one particular diner. Were we in the presence of greatness? Was that Jack Nicholson over there in the far corner of the room? I couldn't make out the whispered name: Was it Meryl Streep? Keanu Reeves?

No, it was Bob Eubanks, former host of "The Newlywed Game."